My dog “disappointed me”.
This is a heavy sentiment.
When any of my clients share this experience of their dog with me, I get curious.
I ask questions like, “what about your dog is disappointing you?”.
The surface answer is, when my dog has a potty accident, when my dog is barking and lunging, when my dog chews up my favorite shoes, when my dog……my dog is bad.
I still ask curious questions.
What comes up for the clients I work with is often their sense of responsibility. When their dog has an accident inside the home, it is like they didn’t do enough to prevent this from happening. They feel shame or guilt about not getting to their dog fast enough, their dog was confused about where to go, its raining outside and they haven’t got the bandwidth to think creatively on how to help their dog be successful.
When the dog potties, then it becomes easier to blame the dog.
For other clients, people pleasing comes up. When the client’s dog is barking and lunging, the client sees the dog as being bad because the other person the dog is barking at feels offended. In turn, the client sees their dog as a barrier to someone liking or accepting them.
I get curious here too and ask clients questions which guide them to make connections to what’s going on for them.
What clients discover is it less about what their dog is doing, but rather an old belief about themselves surfacing and inviting them to re evaluate.
Like any relationship, our relationship with our dogs is a mirror for ourselves and by being open to what is reflecting back to us, can we see ourselves more clearly.
I’m curious, what do you want to do with what your dog is reflecting back to you?
Four Paws & You Dog Training 