Are You Asking for Permission or Support?

You doubt you have the knowledge to make a choice that is right for you let alone your dog.

Your confidence is in the dumps.

Your self talk about what you’re doing and the work your doing with your dog leads you to down a dark path of confusion and frustration.

You just want to give up.

You’ve always had the permission in your grasp in choose how you move forward, but you never felt empowered to make a choice.

You just avoided taking action because you didn’t know what was on the other side and avoiding was easier to do.

What if the choice you’re about to make is choosing between hiding back into your comfort zone or expanding past your growth edge.

You give yourself the permission to choose.

Today, you made the choice of seeing what you can learn in this space of vacillation instead of avoiding it all together?

Once you took notice of the feeling of being in limbo in making a choice in where to go next, you allow yourself to feel the frustration bubble up inside of yourself.

The feeling of frustration is your internal compass indicating you are on to something even if you can’t quite put your finger on it yet.

I know, that feeling is uncomfortable and you may even be afraid of what it’s trying to say.

But instead, you make the choice to feel brave and you ask yourself, “what is the frustration trying to tell me?”

Maybe the answer is your expectations are getting in the way of what is actually unfolding in front of you.

The beliefs of where and what you’re doing are not real or your reality.

Instead, when you start seeing how the steps you’re taking is getting you closer to what you want because you can feel a connection with your dog growing stronger your awareness of the impact of the work you’re doing with your dog grows deeper.

You can feel the shifts happening.

You can observe his body language change and you can see those changes are reflecting a more relaxed dog than before.

The journey continues each day. You are reminded of where you were because you can now see how your dog is making choices to seek you out, be closer to you without running away and looking forward to when you show up.

All you need to do is keep going!

Are you willing to give yourself permission to choose to do things differently?

Pushing Past Your Comfort Zone

Understanding the growth cycle can validate you in your learning and growing and how you experience the same with your dog.

You start off learning something new, you’re excited about the journey.

You feel ready and you feel it in your bones you can climb any mountain with ease.

You encounter your first roadblock.

You didn’t know this challenge was going to happen and it is surprisingly confusing.

You didn’t know this was a thing.

When the answer doesn’t show up easy, you begin feeling the frustration seep in and take over.

Your excitement wanes and you’re at a crossroads of turning around and giving up, or pushing forward and figuring out how to navigate the obstacle.

You make the choice in digging deeper, asking for what you need, putting the pieces of what you’re working on together.

Your surrender back into the routine, practice, or just going back to square one starts to fade the curtain of frustration that hung over your head.

You start recognizing the shifts happening.

The changes taking shape and you get excited again.

The growth cycle is just that, a cycle and learning to ebb and flow with it isn’t always easy or fun, but it certainly offers opportunity for expansion.

A client shared about her success with Appa.

At the heart of the matter, she learned to deepen her patience when things got frustrating.

She looked inward and continued to go back to the practice and show up with love for him.

With months of practice (again, learning and growing never ends), Appa is making choices she’s so proud of him for making.

He’s more comfortable wearing a harness, walking on a lead and no more nipping.

She taught Appa to take breaks (practicing mat work) and sure enough, he is doing this on his own.

She shared her proudest moment when he dragged out his mat and made the choice to settle on it when he needed to slow down.

You may not always see the gains during each practice session and even the frustrating bits may cloud your achievements, but you too will experience a breakthrough and in these moments celebrate those wins.

Thanks Body Mind Coaching for this golden nugget. The ripples of sharing continue!

Freedom from Control is Where You Find Love

You’re busy doing all the things.

One day bleeds into the next and you’re continuing on the hamster wheel.

Demands of work are growing and you find little time for anything else besides doing the daily grind.

You’ve believed for so long that getting the work done and being productive is what you value.

When you feel like you’re not hitting your marks one day and your dog (from your perspective) is not cooperating, you get angry.

Your expectation of your dog to follow your rules and for you to feel in control is shattered.

You become angry at your dog for interrupting a meeting and then feel guilty for scolding your dog for doing what he natural does.

“The strings attached” love you are giving your dog sets you both up for failure.

You’re setting unrealistic expectations on your dog that your dog didn’t agree to in the first place nor did he consent to this relationship.

When you’re expectations go unmet, you feel betrayed.

This type of love is contingent on your dog fulfilling your needs and now your dog owes you a debt.

Neither of you are empowered and dare I say, you’re betraying yourself in the long run for your misplaced expectations.

What if you had the chance to experience love that opened your heart to receiving and giving kindness, respect and safety?

Would this be a type of love which gives you and your dog the freedom to be who you are as individuals and connect with one another in a dog friendly way?

Free from judgment and labeling of what your dog is doing or behaving?

Understanding your needs for connection and freedom without the need to control, dominate and overpower the other.

Your dog doesn’t need a disciplinarian.

Your dog needs you to show up freely and with kindness everyday and in every moment.

Letting go of your expectations and showing up with a curiosity of what you both can experience together.

Find out what happens in the space between letting go of what no longer serves you and your dog and what you get to receive from a truly loving bond.