Attachment to Outcome No Longer Serves You

The way things are going are no longer working.

You’re exhausted from doing the same thing every day and expecting a different result.

This is creating havoc and frustration in your life and you can no longer ignore it.

The push to change is palpable.

You start to see you’re so far away from where you want to be and now the pull to seek out a new way of doing things is evident.

You recognize making the choice to change creates a bit of excitement within you.

The catalyst to change is feeling the push in expanding your awareness of yourself and gaining knowledge of how to get yourself to the next level.

Embarking on a new journey, especially when you’re learning how to do things in new way is also scary.

Self doubt simmers underneath the surface. You question if you can do it.

You question your own capability of what is possible.

You’re brave and take the next step towards your own transformation.

Putting yourself out there exposes your own vulnerabilities. Your growth edge is exposed.
�You become so laser focused on the end result because fear of the unknown creeps in leading you down a rabbit hole of self doubt about whether you’re capable to do the thing settles over you when you judge things as not going as planned.

You hold on to the end result with a tight fist, but when the experience doesn’t fit nicely into how you perceive the outcome to be, this feeling of control becomes your self imposed prison.

The more you attach yourself to the outcome, you lose your way and lose sight of what you’re already achieving.

Transformation isn’t about the outcome.

Transformation is how you make the choice to experience what you’re learning and gaining as you continue down your own path and taking action based on the information you’re mind and body are receiving from the action.

I was working with a client recently and she was sharing how she wanted her dogs to walk with her on a leash and to how she wanted her dog to check in with her.

While we were outside working on leash walking, I noticed how her dog took a few steps along with her, by her side.

I exclaimed, “Did you see that!”

She said, “What?”

I then shared how Patty was walking alongside her a few steps and my client shared she didn’t notice.

By not remaining consciously aware of what you’re working on, of course you’re not able to see what’s happening right in front of you.

But, you’re awareness of what you’re doing and taking action on is where the magic happens.

This is how you can actually observe what you’re achieving!

Another client was struggling for a long time with some major biting behavior in the home.

He’s been wanting a connection with his dog that is relaxed and of course without a lot of biting.

In the midst of him sharing about all the problems he’s been facing and how the last week was tough with an increase in biting and jumping, I pointed out his dog was settled on the ground in the living room, away from him and happily chomping on a toy.

I pointed out how his dog was actually doing what he wanted.

But, in the midst of all the moments judged as bad, a problem or just all wrong, the good was there, but it didn’t exist in that client’s reality because the overwhelm of the problem filled that space.

Rather than judging things as all good or all bad based on how you perceive the outcome to be, instead see what you’re observing is information.

Information feeding into how you proceed. How you adjust what you’re doing. How you take the next step.

When you release your death grip on the outcome, remain consciously aware of what is going on in the moment, here is where you can adjust how you proceed by the information you’re receiving.

The goal is achieved by the small action steps you take and they may show up in the smallest of ways.

Be ready to receive.

Be ready to celebrate.

Without your awareness of what you’re already achieving, you lose sight of where you’re going.

Published by houndbiz

Katherine Porter is a force free, reward based dog behavior advisor and consultant serving clients and their companion dogs worldwide. Her calm and gentle approach in coaching clients in effectively communicating what they want to their dog blends her MSW background into her dog training and behavior practice. Katherine was a behavior consultant for Heeling Hounds after graduation. She opened Four Paws and You Dog Training LLC when the military relocated her family to Fort Sill, OK in 2015. During this time, she volunteered with Rainbow Bridge Can Wait where she provided post adoption consultations to new pet parents. She also developed and implemented tailored behavior modification plans for highly reactive dogs residing at the shelter. She also provided educational programs to military children through interactive workshops at the Fort Sill School Age Center. In 2017, Katherine relocated Four Paws and You Dog Training LLC to Germany. She served the Armed Forces communities in Bavaria. She continued coaching and advising her clients in addressing their companion dog’s fearful and reactive behavioral issues. Katherine takes a Do No Harm approach first and foremost in providing behavioral plans. She is committed in serving clients with gentle and modern science approaches in modifying behavioral concerns such as reactivity, aggression, separation anxiety and fear based responses. Katherine is a member of the Pet Professional Guild. She is focused on integrating a holistic and modern approach in addressing her client’s pet companion reactive behavior issues.

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