Flip the Script on Guilt

One of the greatest pieces of knowledge I learned from the Body Mind Method which I share with the pet parents I work with on a daily basis is that how you feel impacts how you think and how you think impacts how you feel and how you feel impacts how you think.

As you can see, this pattern goes on and on and on!

Understanding how our body mind connection works, is transformative in how pet parents show up and care for their dogs.

Often, pet parents are striving to be the leader or even the utmost responsible in caring for their dogs.

For one of the pet parents I serve, this feeling of responsibility leads her to doing all the things, training all the time, playing every minute, essentially putting all her focus on her dog.

What this leads her to express how she feels when this pattern shows up. She expressed feeling trapped by her dog, depleted of energy into doing what she also needs to take care of herself.

Then when she has zero energy to keep doing all the things, she then moves into blaming her dog for not meeting her expectations and even blaming herself for not doing more or knowing what else to do.

Blaming herself and her dog leads her into a disconnect of how she can empathize with herself and her dog when a lull in learning shows up and instead made her feel guilty.

Empathy is a crucial component in any relationship. It allows the space to objectively see the the situation and be creative in coming up with solutions and listening to yourself in what feels like the right choice.

Reframing the tough moments leading her to feel guilty and instead asking herself if the blame is true or if there are other possibilities allows her to open up what else could be going on.

Also recognizing the pattern of when answers aren’t quite clear, when the new situation is out of the ordinary and how this can cause some internal chaos of how to handle the situation can cause us to spiral is where your growth can happen.

When you uncover your patterns and beliefs, you can begin to shift into a different way to respond, because you feel differently about the situation.

When this pet parent learned and made the choice to change her pattern cycle, she’s given herself permission to take a break and make the choice of how she wants to feel taking the next action with her dog.

By taking a step back, she is giving herself space to check in with herself about how she wants to feel and she can then take action based on her choosing.

This allowed her to recognize her dog was uncomfortable being at the groomer because she too felt uncomfortable with the situation. She made the choice to not move forward with that appointment and she and her dog left.

She now clearly sees what her and her dog need to work on for her dog to be set up for success with other pet professionals.

Dog training is learning about how to teach a dog life skills, professional coaching helps you learn how to change your own pattern cycles and beliefs.

Together, these can transform your relationship with your dog.

Are you curious how this approach can empower you too? Set up a Discovery Call with me!

Published by houndbiz

Katherine Porter is a force free, reward based dog behavior advisor and consultant serving clients and their companion dogs worldwide. Her calm and gentle approach in coaching clients in effectively communicating what they want to their dog blends her MSW background into her dog training and behavior practice. Katherine was a behavior consultant for Heeling Hounds after graduation. She opened Four Paws and You Dog Training LLC when the military relocated her family to Fort Sill, OK in 2015. During this time, she volunteered with Rainbow Bridge Can Wait where she provided post adoption consultations to new pet parents. She also developed and implemented tailored behavior modification plans for highly reactive dogs residing at the shelter. She also provided educational programs to military children through interactive workshops at the Fort Sill School Age Center. In 2017, Katherine relocated Four Paws and You Dog Training LLC to Germany. She served the Armed Forces communities in Bavaria. She continued coaching and advising her clients in addressing their companion dog’s fearful and reactive behavioral issues. Katherine takes a Do No Harm approach first and foremost in providing behavioral plans. She is committed in serving clients with gentle and modern science approaches in modifying behavioral concerns such as reactivity, aggression, separation anxiety and fear based responses. Katherine is a member of the Pet Professional Guild. She is focused on integrating a holistic and modern approach in addressing her client’s pet companion reactive behavior issues.

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