Do you feel the energy to “fix” whatever is going wrong for another person or your dog?
You believe fixing the problem would solve all of the issues.
The tightly held belief that fixing the problem would eliminate whatever is causing your friend or partner or even your dog heart ache and pain.
Your desire to help and ease the discomfort of who you want to help is a heart centered action.
But, fixing the problem is a one-way approach focused on what the issue is bringing up for the person who is trying to help and not actually helping the other person or animal in need.
The desire to “fix” is because there is something triggering for the person who then responds by approaching the problem with advice, guidance or knowing the answers.
By giving advice and coming up with solutions, this doesn’t consider the other person or dog’s point of view or their agency that they also have answers for themselves.
When the righting reflex is activated it compels the “helper” to take control because the person who is suffering appears to be “helpless” “lost” or “fragile”.
The “righting reflex” is the natural response to fix another person’s problem or issue (Miller, Rollnick 2013).
Heart centered people want to help, but not being aware of one’s own “righting reflex” can make the other person or your dog’s problem more about you.
That’s the opposite of what you want to do.
The way to really connect with your friend, family member, client or even your dog is not from a fix it mindset, but rather from your own awareness of this natural tendency and then truly showing up in the energy of getting into the other’s shoes or paws or both!
How?
Reflectively reframe how the person or dog is feeling.
Actively listen to what is being said (body language is communication) and what the other person or dogs value.
Reflect back to the person in their words what he or she said. For dogs, understand how the dog feels and advocate for their best interest.
Co-create solutions together.
Four Paws & You Dog Training 