Moving Beyond

I’ve spent over a decade learning and understanding dog behavior. I used the knowledge I gained to help countless people in helping them better understand their dogs and how to communicate with them more effectively in dog friendly language.

What I’ve discovered for myself in working with people and their dogs is that in many situations, the dogs don’t need the help nor do they need fixing. Instead, the person or persons or family in front of me is who needs the support and guidance and often times in my practice, it’s not about them doing more or knowing more about dogs. Often, the person, or persons or family are desiring to know their inner world, but they are believing what the dog is doing is causing them the pain and suffering.

You see, the inner turmoil a person is facing often comes up when their outer world is not reflecting back to them of what they expect. In these situations, the dog is the target of the person’s unhappiness. The dog is blamed for all the things going on when in fact, the self doubt, the resentment and all the other unpleasantries someone may be facing bubbles over when their dog is barking, lunging and doing all the other unsightly things that bring the scowls, judgments and berating from friends, neighbors and family members.

These unpleasant thoughts are constantly swirling inside their minds and once someone else points their finger and says something the other person is believing about themself, then now it must be true AND now those feelings are coming to the surface and its uncomfortable and they just don’t want to deal with it. ACK!

When this happens when the person is walking their dog and their dog doesn’t do what they like and this garners the negative attention from others, well, the dog will be in trouble for being a dog. How totally unfair.

How about instead, taking a breath and just check in with yourself about what feelings and thoughts are coming up for you? Not only will this give you a moment to consider how you can lovingly help your dog, but it will also show yourself some compassion.

Let me tell you what, life isn’t here to be comfortable. Life is here to jostle things inside of you to help you shift from just surviving to actually living your life more fully. Once you start considering this, you begin to let go bit by bit of internal resistance to change.

My focus in working with fellow humans who may have dogs, is shifting from dog focused to human focused with dog friendly guidance, if necessary. Coaching the person in front of me is central to their desire to have better relationships and communication which leads to more satisfying life.

This may sound strange to you and that’s ok. The next time you find yourself getting upset and angry or even sad about what your dog did or didn’t do, take a breath and go inward. You may uncover the thoughts that contribute to your feelings that have become a belief about who you are.

What you’ll discover when you practice that observation is that you are more than just what you say or believe about yourself!