Growing up, I experienced many situations that led me to doing something that resulted in being labeled good or bad. Be a good girl and keep your mouth shut. You’re bad for asserting that something is unfair. Both had consequences. I learned that I avoided punishment by not speaking. I also learned that my needs didn’t matter. So, as I grew and moved through life, I didn’t know my inherent worth of being. At least not completely. I did have some moments that I can recall when I was alone with myself, I could feel the connection with the larger universe, but this was short lived.
What I learned about being a person in this world is that others’ perception of me were the rules I needed to follow. As you can guess, everyone’s perceptions are different and the rules fluctuate and if I based my identity on what someone’s idea they had of me, I didn’t know who I truly was or what I was about in any regard. In one situation I was good and to someone else I was bad. Basing my existence on the polarity of good or bad is insanity.
When I spent those moments throughout my life reflecting on the deeper essence of myself, I pieced together that there is more to my (and your existence) than just what we do or rather our human form. The deeper energy within ourselves is our truest selves. While more subtle, no less powerful. When I connect with that energy, life becomes more simple. Experiences become more fluid. Thoughts and judgements are muted.
As I step more into living from my alignment, I recognize the old patterns that show up. I see, not with my eyes, but with my heart and body of how those old patterns kept me hidden. They kept me quiet. Quiet in the sense of feeling frozen out of fear. In practicing being present and giving myself permission to allow myself to try new ways of interacting with the world, I experience messiness. The messiness is born out of doing something completely new and not following “the rules” anymore.
Being rooted in my own essence, I can simply observe myself when I take action and if it’s not what someone else expects or wants and they have a reaction, I still remain within my true self. This allows for me to have space to use my words not to become a reflection of recycling past hurts and pains in that moment that may or may not have anything to do with that person, but rather respond neutrally. What I realize through this practice is that the other person’s label or judgement of me or my action was never about me in the first place. I can take what’s mine and leave the rest.
The evolution continues. Life offers plenty of opportunities to practice. When I sit within presence and feel the subtle energy arising within me, there’s more clarity, the decision making is easy and choosing how I move is no longer based on someone else’s perception of whether they see me as good or bad. My light sees their light even though they may not for themselves. Their pain is not my pain even though they may not recognize that for themselves. The practice continues!
Four Paws & You Dog Training 