Channeling Discomfort into Action

I had an opportunity last week to take a class.

What I took away from the 4 day workshop was much more than what the facilitator presented.

As I stayed open to the experience, I felt the discomfort of being presented new information and how this pushed me to create new habits.

The class required not only passive learning, but also active participation of practicing the skills of the class in a group setting.

Not only was there practice, but there was also a requirement of performing the skills in front of others too.

The growth in learning, as I experienced it, was a physiological experience, not just what was inputted into my brain.

I felt acute stress as discomfort in my body. Nervousness about how well I would do or not do, worry about “what if I don’t pass” or the biggest one, “what if I mess up during the practical portion of the test?”

The last piece of “messing up” brought up waves of anticipation of embarrassment which often leads me to avoid potential “scary” situations.

My fear was kicking up and my body was going into fight or flight mode.

Even though this acute stress wasn’t endangering my life, my brain didn’t know that!

I recognized the energy showing up and I harnessed the energy into forward motion and using the stress to find the ways to use it in a productive way.

I leaned into where I felt the most challenged, I discovered an action step that I can take and I used the energy into staying focused on improving on the skill.

Remaining focused on my intention and being present to the experience allowed me the opportunity to improve. The feedback I received from one of the group members is that she told me, “you nailed it”.

Even though it was affirming to hear this from someone observing, I knew I nailed.

How can you lean into something you’re learning today and see what messages show up for you?

Lean In with Curiosity

Someone will come to me because they are uncomfortable with their dog growling and biting their guests and found using painful methods didn’t work.

In the beginning, the pet parent lost trust in their decision making and are feeling desperate for guidance. They feel powerless in what to do when their dog’s behavior was not what they expected.

Now, their self doubt creeps in and they want their dogs to stop barking, lunging and growling and they find someone who promises they can help and the issues with their dogs will be eliminated.

What’s offered to them is using tools that strangles their dogs or electrocutes them paralyzing the dog into submission.

In our culture, we are taught to believe in correction and punishment. There is a belief that blaming and shaming others rather than being empathetic and understanding motivates another being to do something.

Why is it so much easier for us to blame and shame others when something goes wrong?

Is it because the story we tell ourselves is that this being that is showing fear or rage is inappropriate and we desire to distance ourselves from what we perceive as wrong doing?

Emotions aren’t good or bad, they just are and when we can lean into what’s showing up and invite in the lessons the heavy emotions are showing us, can we learn on a deeper level of what’s needed.

What’s needed is love and kindness.

For one of my clients, she wanted to feel more in control.

What she discovered through our time together was how she found herself.

She let go of the belief that she needed to overpower others and instead, leaned into how another being is feeling and uncovered how her compassion can be healing to her rescue and herself.

She learned what safety meant to her and her dog.

The mutuality of what they both received opened up her heart to what’s possible and for her to learn that when she can trust her actions in how she addresses her dog’s behavior, she finds her freedom.

Freedom when guests come over.

Freedom in taking leisurely walks with her dog.

When you and your dog experience freedom and safety, the world is wide open to you!

Dancing with the Unexpected

I came across this yesterday.

“Humans are allergic to change.”

How come the same humans who resist change expect others, including their dogs to do so quickly, easily and without setbacks?

I understand change evokes some fear.

Fear about the unknown.

Fear that things will be different or unexpected.

Expectation, routine and predictability give us a sense of control.

In fact that control is limiting to our growth.

Control limits your freedom and your dreams.

While our dogs desire a sense of control, us humans are capable of dancing with the unexpected and creating a new understanding of how to prevent scary things from happening to our dogs.

We can learn to lean into fear and see how fear is teaching us how to be more empathetic and compassionate to ourselves and our beloved companions.

Fear can teach us that connection with ourselves and others, heals our past hurts.

When fear bubbles up within you, I invite you turn away from blaming or expecting others to be different or to change.

Instead, ask yourself what is fear showing you?

Listen to the messages you receive. The answers will guide your way!