Simple Solution in Being Proactive

I participated in a 2 day training on how to de-escalate people.

The main concept the facilitator wanted us to walk away with was to be able to answer this question:

What leads people to escalate in the first place?

The short answer is basic needs aren’t met. The person feels disrespected. The person doesn’t feel safe.

The same goes for our dogs too.

In order for people and dogs to make thoughtful choices, we all need to feel their hunger and thirst satisfied, we all need to feel connected and included, we all need to have play and our interests align with things in our environment for our basic needs to be met.

Hangry, anyone??

We also need to feel our boundaries are respected and we’re seen and heard.

Recall a time when you wanted to talk with someone and the other person shut you down and silenced you?

Or how about your dog when you yell at your dog to stop barking and you’re only concerned about the noise rather than not responding to what is driving your dog to bark.

Like connection with you. Affection from you.

When a person or dog doesn’t feel safe or feel backed into a corner, there is huge potential for a dog or person to lash out and express themselves through rage and frustration.

What does this look like? Yelling, screaming and barking, fighting for both the person and the dog.

The antidote for escalation is having a proactive environment.

This creates a space preventing escalation in the first place.

When you’re working with people and their dogs, consider how you are considering their basic needs, showing and demonstrating respect and creating a safe space for them simultaneously.

When you’re desiring something different for your dog to do, make sure you’re keeping these principles in mind before, during and after a training scenario or session takes place.

Basic needs. Respect. Safety.

Stories

What stories you tell yourself about your family, friends or even your dogs?

Telling yourself stories about your expectations of how the interaction is going to go or predicting what someone is going to say or what your dog is going to do, robs you of living in the moment and responding to what is happening in the here and now.

These stories become beliefs about the world and when you’re unaware of how they impact your choice making, you’re no longer aware of your actions.

You’re on auto pilot.

Our minds rely on predictability for safety, but predicting what is to come prevents change.

Change for ourselves and for the others we encounter.

I relied heavily on predicting how a situation or how a person was going to react, because for the young me, it was steeped in surviving.

As an adult, the routine and strong tendency in predicting outcomes and anticipating what someone was going to say or do no longer worked.

It led me into feeling isolated and judgmental which kept me from connecting in a real way.

I would not pursue a particular path or feel confident in having a crucial conversation because I “knew how it was going to go” or “why bother, the other person doesn’t care”.

Even though my mind said they were true, in reality, they weren’t true and it was detrimental to my life in a big way.

I still believe my gremlins want what’s best for me, but I understand they don’t have the ability to take risks and extend trust in my capability or value my growth.

That’s ok. They don’t have to.

I trust myself to take action that I feel confident in taking and seeing what happens along the way.

What stories are you re evaluating and shedding this week?

Inviting You into Expansion

Through my experience serving people in better understanding how to meet their dogs’ needs and how to humanely teach them, I find my business is evolving.

Growth and expansion is a mindset I’ve cultivated and being an entrepreneur has really allowed for me to express visioning of my future in a new and creative way.

As part of my expansion, I’ve seen the impact of the work on prioritizing the relationship someone has with someone or something they love and are invested in.

Through my work, I’ve seen how relationships of any kind can unlock a deeper understanding of ourselves.

Relationships are mirrors to what we put out in the world.

When you are intentional in how you want to show up and hold space for something you value, you move differently because you are actively drawing from the energy of what you want out of the connection.

We all need connection. “We” encompasses ourselves and our companion animals. Collectively, our interpersonal communication with those around us open ourselves up to having introspection and curiosity about the impact of these personal dynamics in our lives.

As I and my business evolves, you are invited into gaining a deeper sense of yourself as you understand and integrate the learning from the loving connections you have in your life, if you choose.

Continue to stay tuned to more to come as myself and business grows.

I would love to see you here, if you want to take up the invitation of curiosity with me!