Care for Yourself, So You Can Care for Others Too.

When you feel depleted, exhausted and utterly overwhelmed with everything going on, how is it even possible to show up at 100%?

It isn’t possible.

Doing all the things for everyone else, leaves you behind.

You start to forgo what you want and dismisses how you feel.

What would it look and feel like if you helped yourself before helping others?

If you prioritized taking care of your body and mind, how would this support the others who you care for on a daily basis?

How would your friends, family, clients and even your companion animals benefit?

When you prioritize your health and wellbeing, you’re telling yourself you matter.

How you value yourself matters.

You have amazing dreams and goals and drives to serve others.

Everyday you are love in action.

But for others.

How can showing yourself the same energy, love and compassion you pour into your work and family life be given to yourself too?

It can be as simple as recognizing your breath.

It can be as real as acknowledging the tension your body feels when X thing is said or happens and then recognizing what you can do to transmute that energy into awareness of what isn’t aligned for you.

That right there was a gift I received yesterday.

My husband informed me about something potentially happening with his work in the Army which I’ve experienced before on numerous occasions, but didn’t recognize what was showing up for me.

I usually would become shut down or even angry.

But, in this moment, I was able to feel the tension in my stomach, the tightness in my chest because I was holding my breath and feeling myself starting to freeze.

Instead of reacting out fear, I was able to share with him how my body felt and I was able to honestly share with him that these sensations have shown up more times than I can count for the past 14 years due to his military career.

The description allowed for him, being able to understand how I truly felt.

We both received connection and I honored myself by pausing and recognizing what my body was telling me.

Let Your Dog Take the Wheel

If you read a previous post about Peanut, a Labrador/Dachshund mix who was unable to be cared for because his mom had deteriorating health, well I have another update!

Peanut was rescued about two weeks ago and went into foster care with a family that is well known to the rescue.

When Peanut moved in, he was avoidant, but became really attached to his foster dad (mind you, the rescue was informed Peanut didn’t like men because he bit the adult son of his previous dog mom).

Peanut was also unsure of new people and would growl and sometimes snap as people walked by.

The foster mom reached out to myself and the rescue for guidance.

The foster family made some changes by creating a doggie den and tossing food over to Peanut when another member of the family walked by him.

I also shared with the foster family is to let Peanut lead them to what he needs and wants.

Listen to what Peanut is communicating.

Let go of expectations of what Peanut should or shouldn’t be doing.

Let things be easy for Peanut.

By keeping things simple, easeful and having zero expectations of Peanut, for the first time in Peanut’s life, he experienced freedom.

The freedom to be himself.

Peanut’s new sense of freedom allowed him to get comfortable and make the choice to trust his foster family a little bit more.

Now Peanut is relaxing more and even draping himself over his foster family member’s lap lol.

Sometimes allowing others, like our dogs to have freedom is scary.

Our brains are anticipating all the things that can go wrong and then to answer those fears, we imprison ourselves and our dogs with piling on all things we expect from our dogs.

Micromanaging every movement, telling them where to go, what to do or in many cases saying NO! Without saying yes to what is possible for your dog to do, demanding and commanding them because fear and overwhelm takes over dictating your actions.

What we create instead is the chaos we were trying to avoid in the first place.

By focusing on the what ifs, you are taking action to create those situations to get you what you wanted to avoid in this first place.

Also, allowing for freedom isn’t without boundaries.

Freedom is about expressing who you are authentically because you are aware of yourself, your intention and the action you take because you are connected to your values.

When you connect with what freedom feels like to you in a way that is aligned with your values, you can let go of the need to control what others do around you, including your dogs.

When your dog experiences freedom within the boundaries of what you create it’s because you show up consistently for them, provide them with options of what they can appropriately play with and the space to move around and make choices of what they want to do.

Your dog can make choices without your worry of what danger lurks around the corner.

Having a deep trust in yourself that you can safely guide your dog to teach him or her about the boundaries in your home and life so your dog can also experience freedom to express him or herself is possible.

How about focus on how you want you and your dog to feel and move from this place instead.

Learn from your dog that life can be simple, easy and joyful and see how you can invite in more freedom into yours and your dog’s world!

Presence is Your Gift to Yourself and Your Dog

Seeking perfection is the killer of creativity, spontaneity and true connection within any relationship.

Perfection is about feeling the need to control a situation or an outcome.

When you are making choices from a place of perfection, you’re not open to what someone is saying, how your dog is responding to you and two way communication is interrupted.

What happens if you don’t get perfection?

Do you retreat back into yourself and get caught up in those beliefs about yourself that you’re not good enough or smart enough to do whatever it is you’re doing?

Or do you blame the other person or even your dog when they aren’t perfect or able to perform up to your standard?

Your power doesn’t reside outside of yourself.

Your power resides within your awareness of yourself and the intentionality of your actions.

When something goes wrong, it isn’t about who is wrong or what did or didn’t happen, but rather what you get to learn from the experience.

You get to discover what worked well, what needs to shift. When you’re making those adjustments you begin finding the trust within yourself.

That’s it.

This was a lesson I relearned last week.

Trying something new, pushing myself out of my comfort zone had me back in old beliefs of perfectionism.

My focus wasn’t on what I was doing, but rather how a situation was going to turn out.

When the situation didn’t turn out perfectly because I wasn’t present to the small steps leading to the outcome, self doubt creeped in, negative thinking patterns emerged and I blamed and shamed myself.

A light bulb went off.

What if instead I trust myself rather than focusing on how someone else was going to respond or how a situation turned out?

Feeling the need to control and having a perfect outcome faded and I felt empowered in what I can do and the part I play.

Letting go of the attachment to the outcome freed me from worry of what the future will hold.

Presence is the antidote to perfection.

Do you want to live more presently so you can respond to what’s happening with your dog in front of you and let go of what your dog should or should not be doing? Let’s chat!