Prioritizing the emotional connection of their dogs allows everyone in the household to have safe and kind interactions with their dogs.

Catharine is the mom of 4 kids (toddlers to teens) and 2 adolescent dogs!

A busy and sometimes chaotic house, but one that’s filled with lots of love and compassion.

Witnessing them through some ups and downs and seeing how they are heart centered and prioritize their relationships over everything else not only melted my heart, but continued to reaffirm for me, being empathetic and understanding what’s going on “underneath” the surface of how not only their 2 legged, but their 4 legged kids are expressing their feelings is the embodiment of a benevolent leader.

Catharine modeled this relationship style, by guiding her middle child into learning about what their youngest dog, Dustin was feeling too in a non judgmental and curious way.

This extends further as Catharine and her family took their time in bringing their dogs together. They recognized what each dog needed (sometimes different than the other) and did greetings and short periods of time together.

They took time to observe body language, arousal levels and what each one was communicating (they shared that they experienced a brief moment of resource guarding and immediately took action to trade up, lovingly redirect, remove the item and allow for resume of interaction).

Catharine also shared her toddlers, Remi and Logan may not have seen eye to eye with Dustin, but with Catharine’s gentle parenting, she provides her dogs and kids options.

Both Logan and Remy were empowered to make the choice to go into the x pen on their own when they wanted a break from Sean-C and Dustin’s play time antics.

What clever kids and for them to feel they can take action to feel more comfortable when things became more raucous with the dogs.

This family integrated the learning they did through their program with me while making it their own.

Focusing on how everyone feels and guiding all the family members into feeling, safe and loved because they all trust their mom to be the kind, gentle and loving parent to all of them all at once.

If you are desiring emotional connection over “who is the boss” dog coaching, set up your Discovery Call with me.

This past year, I’ve set an intention for myself to ask for support when I need it and for things that I feel confused or frustrated by or want guidance to do things differently.

Asking for support doesn’t come easily to me.

I’ve learned at a very young age that asking for help or just asking a question was like walking into a minefield.

I learned to be attuned to how one of parent’s answered my pre question of “can I ask you something?” Depending on her response and the way she answered, gave me information of to stay away or to ask.

I was also a shy kid and felt vulnerable and exposed when I would even think of raising my hand in class in elementary school that followed me almost through my graduate program.

I prided myself on being fiercely independent and doing things myself.

Instead, I was avoiding feeling the pain of vulnerability and by avoiding the felt experience, I continued to feel the weight of the burden like they were a bag of boulders I was carrying around for decades.

Not asking for support was detrimental to me.

It inhibited trust I have for myself.

As I’ve been intentionally asking for support over the past year, the experience hasn’t been easy.

It’s felt awkward, I felt embarrassed, my questions were muddled because I wasn’t grounded in my body, but rather disconnected from myself and the shame of feeling vulnerable of asking the question rattled me.

Last week, was eye opening.

I stayed open to what the entirety of the experience was like when I had a chance to ask for support.

I initially felt resistance. My gremlins showed up and was like “nope, don’t do this, you don’t want this, it feels strange and DANGER!”

I still pushed.

When I asked my question(s), I felt my face get hot, my voice changed, my question was incoherent (from my perspective-which only fueled the judgment for myself).

When I made the choice to observe myself without judgement, I received insight that shame was keeping me from pushing through to the other side of this.

When I spoke to the shame and acknowledged it, I felt another layer of my limiting belief I had for myself get released.

The bag of boulders I was carrying around, were dropped to the side and my body felt lighter and more settled.

Even more so, sharing my experience and having open conversation about my shame gremlins surrounding asking for support, I see I’m not alone.

I’ve shared my experience with fellow coaches and even my husband.

Being able to acknowledge how shame kept me from expanding my world when I didn’t ask a question, my husband shared similar stories too.

Wow.

The power of connection and sharing vulnerability with someone(s) I trust, deepened my confidence in myself, highlighted my courage and also opened the door for others to do the same.

Now, with having this real and frank conversation with my husband about what asking for support means, we can be more aware of what stories are showing up for each of us and it allows for us to show more compassion to what the other’s experience is in the moment.

Sharing my vulnerability with others, creates a safe place for others to do the same. The healing ripples of acknowledging the shame and using the energy into something positively productive is transformational!

Good by bag of boulders! Hello spaciousness, creativity, freedom and peace!

Here are some ways support is available to you! It’s up to you to take the next step.

Community Connections Monthly Membership Group

Phenix Advocacy Center for Members (We open 3 April), you can follow the Phenix Advocacy Center before then.

Coaching Support

A previous client reached out to me for some guidance on how to help her dog have a successful greeting with a visiting family member.

She acknowledged her dog, Flaco has a harder time meeting men than women and the family member visiting is her dad.

This certainly created stress for Sandra. This was her comfort zone talking.

Sandra remained focused on being proactive and motivated to use the stress she felt about this new situation to set herself and Flaco up for success right from the start.

We discussed a game plan.

Sandra put the pieces together of how to have slow introductions, giving Flaco some space and of course how to bridge the divide of making her dad the best thing in Flaco’s eyes.

We also discussed roadblocks.

Roadblocks like what if the greeting takes longer than necessary? What if Flaco struggles with her dad staying with them?

Even though roadblocks and what other options you have available aren’t ideal, they do give the mind some relief when the gremlins come knocking.

The gremlins are there saying, “this won’t work”, “you won’t be successful” ect. By talking about roadblocks, this gives the mind some relief about what may go wrong, it also opens up space for the person to take action in the direction where they want to go.

Sandra’s action plan for Flaco was a success!

According to what Sandra shared about her game plan, she “made sure he was walked earlier in the day so well regulated (got his potty time in) and also fed him.

Her dog walker (who is well versed in force free approaches) came to take Sandra’s other dog for a walk. Sandra is well aware of how Hollyn becomes excited in new situations, so giving Flaco more of an opportunity to have a calmer greeting.

Sandra asked her dad (so lovely he followed her instructions), to stand still and sideways when Flaco came out. Flaco had an easy time meeting her dad and seemed to like him too.”

They hit a roadblock when Hollyn was reintroduced. Flaco became unsure about her dad.

Her dog walker swung into action and played Engage/Disengage in the kitchen with Flaco until he was more comfortable.”

Using the stress of doing something new by creating an action plan gives you an opportunity to grow and move through your comfort zone.

As you can see, there was a hiccup. The game plan accounted for a roadblock like this and they used their knowledge of the skills they practiced and put it to work when a less than ideal situation occurred.

Sure enough, Flaco and Sandra’s dad are buds!

Receiving support can help you achieve your goals. Set up your Discovery Call with me!