Purposely Heart Centered

I remember as a young child, I would dive into tackling something new without minding the directions of how to play a game or put together a new toy.

When I struggled in figuring it out on my own, my dad would meet me with saying, “read the directions of how to play the game or put the toy together.”

His rules wasn’t how I inherently operate.

I chose to explore how to do something and figure it out while my dad looked to make things “easier” or minimizing frustration in finding a solution.

Maybe because he believed “he knew better”, he was in charge because of his role as a parent or he was passing down his life lessons and stories because he believed it was “the way.”

In his own way, my dad was guiding me in the way he would figure out a problem rather than seeing things from my perspective and my motivation.

I followed the road map he tried to provide me when it was right for me to do.

I asked him for guidance on how to fill out student loan documentation, he taught me how to open a bank account, but when it was time in pursuing my own professional goals, I followed my purpose.

I spent years of being an AmeriCorps volunteer and obtaining degrees in social work. My focus was on heart centered work which he didn’t understand at the time because in his eyes it wasn’t practical.

What I discovered for myself, my motivation for taking action was never about what a profession looked like. I value the connection of living compassionately and ethically with how I serve others. Creating a role for myself that gets to express this purpose rather than fitting myself into position description or expectations of others gives me freedom.

Each of you have your own internal compass informing you where to go and your purpose in life regardless of the lessons and stories from others who think they know better because of education, life experience, age or whatever else shaped the stories they live by day in and day out.

Their story isn’t yours and when you move from a place of how you get to live your life, what it gets to look like, how you raise children and even how you nurture your companion animals, you get to create a life you desire. You aren’t bound by the rules others follow.

Trusting your inner knowing rather than blindly following how others are trying to shape your experience allows space for you to grow and learn in a way that is aligned with your values.

By filtering the choices you get to make through your inner wisdom, you do come up with creative ways of living your life. When your choice doesn’t link up with what others say or do, doesn’t mean you’re wrong or it’s a problem.

Living a life in alignment with your values and how you design it to look like and feel like is solely up to you.

What do you want in your life? What does it get to look like for you? What do you prioritize? How can you live heart centered and grounded by your internal compass of the direction you get to take?

I have a few spots open for 1:1 support in January 2023!

The Ripples from Empowered Choices

Exciting news to share! I was invited to be on a podcast for Sol Health Yoga earlier this week to share about the offering I’ll be hosting there in January. (I’ll share the episode when its released).

The episode was a chance for me to share my reflections about how I moved into this space of integrating BodyMind Connection within the dog training/behavior space and beyond.

I’ll share some of the insights for you here.

Back in the day, Jack had some serious concerns like separation anxiety and barking and lunging at anything and everything and I needed a real and compassionate way to support him since we didn’t have any luck initially in finding a professional that shared my values.

Instead, I took the plunge and invested in myself in becoming a certified dog trainer

But, I quickly learned, this only got me so far. I needed more continuing education.

I was introduced to the Do No Harm Dog Training FB group from a mentor and as I lurked and learned about how to meet a dog’s needs, I realized how foundational this understanding is in any behavior change plan. I then became a moderator for this group in 2020.

It wasn’t until I was asked to do copy editing of the Do No No Harm Dog Training and Behavior Handbook that I became immersed in the content and passages where it discussed the emotional needs of our dogs.

My take away was how trust was vital and without it, nothing is possible.

A dog has to feel a connection with its person in order for the dog to “do the things” the person wanted. To take it a step further, a person has to feel a connection with their dog if their dog is going to feel calm, safe and relaxed.

It finally clicked for me and I can “see” how emotions drive behavior.

When I started observing Jack from the lens of what is his body experiences in those moments of calm and contrasted within those moments of frenzied barking and lunging, I connected with him in a way where it opened the door for me to have self reflection on what am I feeling?

What am I feeling when Jack is experiencing peace and calm and frantic barking and lunging at other dogs that pass by?

I recognized the symbiotic connection we have with one another and I also recognized where I lacked understanding of myself.

I reached out to a friend who is a BodyMind Coach and I shared how I wanted greater understanding of how my feelings drive my own behavior and to relearn to trust my inner knowing in how I show up in my life and within the relationships I care for which includes Jack and Bernie.

This started my journey of unraveling old patterns and beliefs and creating a newer version of myself which is more aligned with where I’m going.

As I wrapped up the coaching container with my own coach, my eyes opened in seeing the pain of those I was serving in their own struggle. I saw how the challenges they faced impacted not only the life with their dogs, but how the struggle with their dogs was a reflection of what was going on in other parts of their lives.

They shared how they didn’t feel confident to handle x behavior problem their dog was experiencing. They cycled through self doubt and shame over and over again which led them into retreating back to the old way of doing things which only kept them in a cycle of behavior patterns that didn’t work in the first place.

The commonalities were astounding.

So, I embarked on furthering my knowledge and expertise. I invested into a 12 month coaching certification program where I not only became more attuned to myself, but I recognized the power of presence and how connection with others can bring about amazing awarenesses for those I serve.

The individuals and families shared with me profound takeaways of our time together.

One client shared that when she learned about how her dogs are just seeking ways for their needs to be met just like she is, she saw this was the path to success.

Another client shared with me in our coaching conversation about significant losses of loved ones in her life which also included her dogs of years ago. She described how the pain and sadness of these losses interfered with how she’s showing up for her dogs in the here and now.

By re discovering herself, she gained more confidence. She is empowered in how she shows up and advocates for herself and her dogs and by doing the inner work, she experiences more joy and freedom.

Another client shared with me in a recent coaching session that by reflecting on various pieces of her life, she recognizes that what is showing up with her and her dogs isn’t separate or happening outside of the other things in her life. What is happening with her and her dogs is interconnected with all the other things going on and how creating flow in one area brings ease into another.

At the heart of this is connection to self. Awareness of how one is feeling. Attuned to their inner knowing. Living their life by following what feels right for them to do and how they want to show up in this world.

You are not split into pieces when things don’t go the way you want in one area of your life. You are whole and feeling your completeness during times of uncertainty allows you to find your way back to home, your way back to yourself and your inner peace.

So many options to connect with yourself and creating your own empowered choices!

I invite you to explore the options that are right for you!

Creating Empowering Choices 90 min in person workshop.

Find out about 1:1 Coaching or sign up for the Community Connections Monthly Group Membership

Going Out on a Limb

What do you want?

Who do you want apart of your journey?

What does your life get to look like?

Exploring and trying new things on in how you want to show up in the world may be new for you.

Feeling the push to do somethings differently because what you’ve been doing doesn’t feel right to you anymore.

You may be feeling the dread of driving up to where you work and you just want to scream!

You see you’re dog is nervous when you leave and is whining and barking when you’re gone and you’re also feeling anxious your neighbor is going to report you to your landlord.

Maybe you feel isolated from friends you know longer hang out with because your life has been consumed by your dog and doing all the things for him.

Maybe you’ve been feeling uneasy with friends and family recently because you notice you feel uncomfortable within these relationships because now you are starting to take notice when boundaries are being crossed.

When you ask yourself what you want, the thoughts in your head circle around about how “you can’t do this?” “How can you afford to take the leap in changing jobs/careers?” “What if they get mad when I say I need space, time or that I’m looking to make a change in my life?”

Whatever you desire, that thing you want is on the other side of these judgments and fear.

Fear is just an indicator that you’re on the edge of something you want.

It is a reaction in your body that you’re doing something which is requiring more energy, focus, attention and this disrupts your established rhythms.

Our brains love to expect the next thing and when you are going after a dream job, a change in your relationship dynamics, learning something new all of these pieces require you to act differently, feel differently, think and ultimately believe differently.

Your brain wants you to run and hide and go back to what it expects.

But what it expects isn’t working for you and you feel the fire inside you motivating you to take a step!

Take the leap and trust yourself. You know where you want to go, now its just about taking the step in that direction.

Dial in support when you feel yourself going back to the old way of doing things that is no longer working.

Ask for support when you feel confused and frustrated with your new life not happening fast enough!

Celebrate the awarenesses that show up and honor the messages they are telling you!

Feel apart of a larger community where you can feel seen and heard!

One way to feel connected with others who are on a similar self discovery journey, join me for an in person Creating Empowering Choices 90 min workshop offering on 14 January at 10am at Sol Health Yoga in Puyallup.

Register Here!