Presence is Your Gift to Yourself and Your Dog

Seeking perfection is the killer of creativity, spontaneity and true connection within any relationship.

Perfection is about feeling the need to control a situation or an outcome.

When you are making choices from a place of perfection, you’re not open to what someone is saying, how your dog is responding to you and two way communication is interrupted.

What happens if you don’t get perfection?

Do you retreat back into yourself and get caught up in those beliefs about yourself that you’re not good enough or smart enough to do whatever it is you’re doing?

Or do you blame the other person or even your dog when they aren’t perfect or able to perform up to your standard?

Your power doesn’t reside outside of yourself.

Your power resides within your awareness of yourself and the intentionality of your actions.

When something goes wrong, it isn’t about who is wrong or what did or didn’t happen, but rather what you get to learn from the experience.

You get to discover what worked well, what needs to shift. When you’re making those adjustments you begin finding the trust within yourself.

That’s it.

This was a lesson I relearned last week.

Trying something new, pushing myself out of my comfort zone had me back in old beliefs of perfectionism.

My focus wasn’t on what I was doing, but rather how a situation was going to turn out.

When the situation didn’t turn out perfectly because I wasn’t present to the small steps leading to the outcome, self doubt creeped in, negative thinking patterns emerged and I blamed and shamed myself.

A light bulb went off.

What if instead I trust myself rather than focusing on how someone else was going to respond or how a situation turned out?

Feeling the need to control and having a perfect outcome faded and I felt empowered in what I can do and the part I play.

Letting go of the attachment to the outcome freed me from worry of what the future will hold.

Presence is the antidote to perfection.

Do you want to live more presently so you can respond to what’s happening with your dog in front of you and let go of what your dog should or should not be doing? Let’s chat!

The Phenix Advocacy Center for Professional R+ Dog Trainers

Has a positive reinforcement professional trainer made a difference in your dog’s life?

In your own life?

Has an R+ professional helped your dog learn to relax and give him the gift of being able to enjoy his life?

Has an R+ professional sat with you – and cried with you – when your dog’s life comes to an end?

Has an R+ trainer given you force free tools to gift your new puppy with resiliency and confidence?

Has an R+ professional made ALL THE DIFFERENCE for your dog?

Now it’s your turn to say thank you and help us help these amazing trainers and human beings!

I do what I do because I love dogs and I have a huge amount of love and respect for the kind pet parents and guardians like you who will do anything and everything for their loved dog.

In February of this year, Annie Phenix created the Phenix Advocacy Group for R+ Canine Professionals. The PAC provides free peer-to-peer support for R+ trainers. As a BodyMind Coach and behavior consultant, this was a perfect fit for me. You see, we advocate for the mental and physical well-being professional members of the group

Why advocacy for the professionals in the dog training industry?

Well, professionals in this industry face cyber bullying, experience defenseless and voiceless companion animals being abused and tortured in the name of training and we are the warriors fighting against this injustice, we’re fighting against misinformation within the industry while even feeling isolated within our own communities.

This can lead to feeling of hopelessness and powerlessness to even feel we can make a change.

We’re depleted and burned out! The average burn out rate for a professional trainer is 2 years! For many of us, we don’t even get to the point of feeling confident in our expertise before we want to hit the bricks and run for the hills.

We need these committed folks more than ever. We need heart centered people who prioritize the wellbeing and welfare of our companions above all else.

There is now something we can do! We have a place where we can be seen and heard and receive support.

We do need your help!

You can help us help trainers by donating $5 to our Go Fund Me. It’s a small but important way to say a big THANK YOU for these hard-working and dedicated professionals.

The Go Fund Me explains why we are raising these funds now. Your donation will directly benefit R+ professionals through our Advocacy group! And THANK YOU for your love of dogs and for being our supportive community in all things dog!

Start with Your Values

Last week, my client was walking me out the door after our session.

He had an “aha” moment.

He turned to me and said, “I now know why you asked me during the discovery call what my level of commitment is in working with my dog.”

I got curious and asked him to share what he learned through our time together.

He shared how teaching his dog wasn’t an overnight quick fix.

He’s experienced through our time together how breaking down the skills into manageable bits helps his dog understand what to do instead.

My client shared how he struggled with his dog pulling and barking at everyone and everything.

For my client, this is dangerous since my client has mobility issues and so we not only came up with several ways of keeping both him and his dog safe.

As he shared his frustration with his dog pulling and barking “all of the time”, I asked my client after our session, “did your dog bark at the people passing by, the teenage yelling to get her father’s attention?”

He said no.

I asked him, “did your dog pull you down the driveway?”

He said no.

I asked him what changed.

He shared what changed was how I guided him to wait for his dog to check in with him, to play Engage/Disengage when his dog was watching the person yell to her dad.

He also shared how the connection with his dog is what made the difference.

I agreed. His connection with his dog shifted over our time together and this is the foundation for everything he wants to do with his dog.

It’s not enough to teach cues.

You have to go further. The trust and the connection is what will transform your relationship with your dog.

From the bond you share with your dog, then you can achieve what you put your mind to and considering what your dog wants to do too.

Remember you’re a team and being apart of a partnership requires both the person and dog to be on the same page and adjusting for what’s happening, how you both are changing and growing and what the purpose is in choosing a direction and path to go on.

If you desire a deeper relationship with your dog and value growth and connection over what your dog can do for you, set up a Discovery Call with me.