How do You Want Your Dog to Feel?

I received a massage last week to help heal some injured calf and hamstring muscles after a half marathon I ran 2 months ago.

I’m definitely feeling better (don’t worry Ragnar Relay team 😂), but I wanted to take more target action on the area after pulling back from some longer runs.

After the appointment, I shared how I experienced the sensations I had during the treatment with my massage therapist.

The massage therapist shared with me to ice the area when I got home as a way to change the neural pathways as it relates to my pain.

She shared how pain is the body’s emotional response to something harmful happening to it. Our bodies then send the message up to our brains via our central nervous system. Our brains interpret the message as an unpleasant emotional experience. The brain then sends a message to our bodies informing our bodies not to do certain actions as a way to avoid experiencing the pain again.

This conversation got me thinking.

As an adult that has agency over my body, I can make an informed choice of how I implement a training and recovery plan for myself. I can articulate to other professionals about what’s wrong and how we can work together for my wellbeing. I make a choice not just how my mind interprets the information presented, but I also feel what’s right for my next course of action.

Well, what about dogs?

Studies show that dogs have common brain structure and function as humans and they experience physical and emotional pain in a similar way.

Dogs also experience pleasure which leads them into their seeking system which drives them to do things like sniff and play. Activities they enjoy doing!

When things go wrong and you want to help your dog get back on track, you start looking for solutions.

You schedule to have calls with pet professionals which affords you an opportunity to ask questions and gather information regarding training schools and programs.

To make an informed choice of how to proceed with hiring a pet professional, we often limit ourselves by believing it requires our minds to filter through the risks, benefits and even how training is going to go when weighing your options.

It’s not just what our minds logically decide on the choice, but how our bodies feel about the choice also matters and even comes first.

Dogs can’t talk with human verbal language, but that doesn’t mean we can consider their point of view when making choices of what they will experience.

When you’re sifting through your pro/con list of pet professionals, ask yourself, how do you want your dog to feel as part of your informed choice making in hiring a pet professional?

What do you want your dog to feel when going through a training program?
What is the value of your dog finding pleasure in the experience and wanting your dog to have joy in his or life too?

When you answer is “I want my dog to enjoy and love the experience”, then aligning with a pet professional who will create a learning environment with fun and enjoyment is a TOP priority.

When you lead with your heart in finding workable solutions, you are honoring your dog’s wellbeing. The choice is based on how you feel you’re dog will thrive.

The power is in your hands in setting up your dog for success and becoming aware of your dog’s emotional experience is your guide in making choices on behalf of your dog.

Benefits of Coaching A Dog Training Client

I’ve heard from clients before of how burdened they feel about the dog training industry.

Pet parents expressed feeling beaten down by other trainers that they are hesitant to get help.

Sometimes the hesitancy turns to refusal to try again. They would much rather “just deal” or sadly, rehome their dog.

One client shared how she felt overrun by pet professionals and lands on the periphery of the training plan.

Another client shared how she feels judged other pet parents, family members, friends and neighbors about how to “best” handle her dogs behavior. Much to her dismay, their suggestions are misaligned with her values.

When a pet parent’s growth edge shows up, old limiting beliefs float to the surface.

Feelings of “My opinion isn’t valued.” “I’m not included in the training program.” “I feel alone in navigating x situation.” “I’m not enough.” “I feel lost.” “I don’t know how to do x and I’m afraid to ask.”

Training alone doesn’t empathize or address how our clients move forward with their dog.

The essence of training is for the expert in the field (trainer) to impart knowledge and set learning objectives for the pet parent (trainee).

Expert level training is time limited and lays the foundation for how’s and why’s of what you’re doing with your dog.

The focus is strictly on building the skills.

Coaching is the other leg.

Coaching succeeds training.

Coaching creates space for the pet parent to apply what they learned and ask questions in a safe place.

Through coaching, a pet parent can feel heard, seen and valued. They receive support in a way they didn’t have before and within this leveled up professional relationship, pet parents can transform.

The pet parent’s transformation can directly impact the wellbeing and life of their dog because the pet parent isn’t just learning how to perform a skill, they are becoming the person they want to be and how they want to show up for their dog.

Your client becomes an advocate for their dog’s needs in a way where they empowered in their voice.

Your client can be present with their dog, recognize their own stress response find the space to calm themselves and then respond to their dog’s emotional needs.

Your client learns to identify the values which ground them in knowing where they stand when navigating judgmental conversations from friends and family members. This frees them from carrying the burden of those judgments.

Ultimately, when your clients embody how they want to show up for their dog in this new way, they are no longer just doing, but they are being the pet parent they envisioned for themselves.

Attachment to Outcome No Longer Serves You

The way things are going are no longer working.

You’re exhausted from doing the same thing every day and expecting a different result.

This is creating havoc and frustration in your life and you can no longer ignore it.

The push to change is palpable.

You start to see you’re so far away from where you want to be and now the pull to seek out a new way of doing things is evident.

You recognize making the choice to change creates a bit of excitement within you.

The catalyst to change is feeling the push in expanding your awareness of yourself and gaining knowledge of how to get yourself to the next level.

Embarking on a new journey, especially when you’re learning how to do things in new way is also scary.

Self doubt simmers underneath the surface. You question if you can do it.

You question your own capability of what is possible.

You’re brave and take the next step towards your own transformation.

Putting yourself out there exposes your own vulnerabilities. Your growth edge is exposed.
�You become so laser focused on the end result because fear of the unknown creeps in leading you down a rabbit hole of self doubt about whether you’re capable to do the thing settles over you when you judge things as not going as planned.

You hold on to the end result with a tight fist, but when the experience doesn’t fit nicely into how you perceive the outcome to be, this feeling of control becomes your self imposed prison.

The more you attach yourself to the outcome, you lose your way and lose sight of what you’re already achieving.

Transformation isn’t about the outcome.

Transformation is how you make the choice to experience what you’re learning and gaining as you continue down your own path and taking action based on the information you’re mind and body are receiving from the action.

I was working with a client recently and she was sharing how she wanted her dogs to walk with her on a leash and to how she wanted her dog to check in with her.

While we were outside working on leash walking, I noticed how her dog took a few steps along with her, by her side.

I exclaimed, “Did you see that!”

She said, “What?”

I then shared how Patty was walking alongside her a few steps and my client shared she didn’t notice.

By not remaining consciously aware of what you’re working on, of course you’re not able to see what’s happening right in front of you.

But, you’re awareness of what you’re doing and taking action on is where the magic happens.

This is how you can actually observe what you’re achieving!

Another client was struggling for a long time with some major biting behavior in the home.

He’s been wanting a connection with his dog that is relaxed and of course without a lot of biting.

In the midst of him sharing about all the problems he’s been facing and how the last week was tough with an increase in biting and jumping, I pointed out his dog was settled on the ground in the living room, away from him and happily chomping on a toy.

I pointed out how his dog was actually doing what he wanted.

But, in the midst of all the moments judged as bad, a problem or just all wrong, the good was there, but it didn’t exist in that client’s reality because the overwhelm of the problem filled that space.

Rather than judging things as all good or all bad based on how you perceive the outcome to be, instead see what you’re observing is information.

Information feeding into how you proceed. How you adjust what you’re doing. How you take the next step.

When you release your death grip on the outcome, remain consciously aware of what is going on in the moment, here is where you can adjust how you proceed by the information you’re receiving.

The goal is achieved by the small action steps you take and they may show up in the smallest of ways.

Be ready to receive.

Be ready to celebrate.

Without your awareness of what you’re already achieving, you lose sight of where you’re going.