Using Guilt to Your Advantage

When you do something you or another seeing as being inappropriate by a personal or societal standard, you often feel guilty.

Feelings of guilty for not meeting an expectation.

Feelings of guilt for believing (correctly or incorrectly) that doing the wrong thing made someone else feel disappointed.

Feelings of guilt for contributing to someone else’s pain or suffering.

Feelings of guilt are a sign a person is remorseful and have a sense of empathy. This is important in maintaining relationships with the ones you love.

Rational and healthy feelings of guilt are a motivator in changing your behavior and addressing past mistakes. This can lead you to your own personal growth.

Unhealthy pangs of guilt can be paralyzing and make you feel at a loss of what to do.

You become stuck believing you are a bad person rather than you did a bad thing.

You judge yourself for the actions of others in spite of knowing more and doing better.

Once you recognize previous actions and choices are in the past and there’s nothing you can do to change them, you can move forward.

You can move forward in taking inspired action in changing your today based on new and better information

You can utilize these learning experiences as a motivator in changing your choices in how you handle the concerns you have in your life.

I’ve been right in the thick of guilt.

When I was struggling with Jack and his distress with being left alone, I didn’t know what to do.

I didn’t have the confidence I was adequately helping him.

I felt his pain and blamed myself for his reactions.

I blamed others for not crossing the street with their dogs when Jack and I were walking together.

Silly I know.

But, I was so frustrated.

I finally recognized, I needed to do something different and use the energy I was wasting on these irrational beliefs in helping Jack have real change.

Long lasting change.

I made the choice of understanding Jack’s emotions and learning about what he enjoys and what he needs when things get tough for him.

I redirected my energy into finding solutions for Jack’s concern for being left alone.

I channeled my education and skills into building a routine Jack can trust.

Ultimately, I began meeting him where he needed to be met.

This is last piece is where it was a game changer.

It leveled the playing field and I made the choice every day in every situation.

It wasn’t easy. But it worked.

Taking the slow and gradual steps in changing your dog’s emotional response is cultivated through your relationship with your dog.

There are no quick fixes.

Seeing the progress to your goals will build your confidence and encourage you to continue on your journey with your dog.

Not sure how this works?

But you’re still open in exploring how to do it?

Set up your free Discovery Call with me:

Shifting your perspective can change the trajectory of your relationship with your companion animal.

Published by houndbiz

Katherine Porter is a force free, reward based dog behavior advisor and consultant serving clients and their companion dogs worldwide. Her calm and gentle approach in coaching clients in effectively communicating what they want to their dog blends her MSW background into her dog training and behavior practice. Katherine was a behavior consultant for Heeling Hounds after graduation. She opened Four Paws and You Dog Training LLC when the military relocated her family to Fort Sill, OK in 2015. During this time, she volunteered with Rainbow Bridge Can Wait where she provided post adoption consultations to new pet parents. She also developed and implemented tailored behavior modification plans for highly reactive dogs residing at the shelter. She also provided educational programs to military children through interactive workshops at the Fort Sill School Age Center. In 2017, Katherine relocated Four Paws and You Dog Training LLC to Germany. She served the Armed Forces communities in Bavaria. She continued coaching and advising her clients in addressing their companion dog’s fearful and reactive behavioral issues. Katherine takes a Do No Harm approach first and foremost in providing behavioral plans. She is committed in serving clients with gentle and modern science approaches in modifying behavioral concerns such as reactivity, aggression, separation anxiety and fear based responses. Katherine is a member of the Pet Professional Guild. She is focused on integrating a holistic and modern approach in addressing her client’s pet companion reactive behavior issues.

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