Getting Comfortable with Feeling Discomfort

Sometimes, your client’s dog behavior is less about your client’s dog and more about how your client shows up!

They take on the judgments from others saying what should and shouldn’t be done with their dog and how they’re getting it all wrong, tearing at their insides.

When they allow themselves to take on what others say or do or what the outdated culture of dog training dictates, creates stress within your client

They are filled with self doubt and worry.

On top of navigating through these limited beliefs of what is possible, your clients are also challenged by how to help their dog who is barking and lunging at other people and dogs. A history is already established.

The weight of the world on your client’s shoulders even before they take a step outside.

When your client is feeling burdened, they are overwhelmed by feelings of worry and even fear.

A person’s fear response can vary from fight, flight, freeze or fiddle around just like their dogs!

When your client’s dog is startled or experiencing a frightening situation (real or perceived) and these limited beliefs are swirling around your client’s minds, they are already at a limited capacity to step in and respond.

In this situation, your client is startled too and their sense of fear will take over and they will want to move away while their dog may respond differently.

Your client’s dog may instead move towards the scary thing responding with a fight reaction. This will lead your client to jerk on the leash.

Your client and their dog may both freeze. This also leads them into danger as this continues to create a situation which your client and their dog feel unsafe most likely resulting in their dog barking and lunging.

At this point, your client may then pull on the leash because they are trying to move away.

There are a number of different scenarios can occur when your client is not grounded in the here and now.

When your client can stay present and remain in the pocket of a situation that is perceived to be scary, your clients are able to strategize in navigating through this surprising situation.

Guiding your clients to be comfortable with discomfort will allow them to expand their mindset and help them override their own fear response when they and their dog are confronted with a surprising situation.

How can you guide your clients in stopping their minds from taking over?

  1. I practiced saying to myself, “I got this” before I stepped out the door when I would walk Jack. As you may know, Jack was easily overwhelmed and I struggled with not knowing what to do at the time. Telling myself, “I got this”, put in an empowered mindset and better able to recognize and respond to situations I knew would create havoc for Jack.
  2. Deep breathing. Sometimes those scary situations happen in a blink of an eye (imagine coming around a corner and a dog charging a fence as you’re walking by with your dog). I learned to recognize yes this is scary, but we’re not in immediate danger. I take a deep breath to center myself and reconnect with Jack. As I become centered, my breath is calming my sympathetic nervous system. I’m now in my thinking brain and able to problem solve. This eases the burden of the experience on Jack and we can both move away being less emotionally charged.
  3. I guide others to do step 1 and 2 as well as take shorter walks. As your clients are successful with shorter distances, this builds their confidence to keep moving forward.
  4. Guide your clients to take a break from practice. In our culture, we are not accustomed to taking a break. A pause in practice will allow space for your client and their dog to decompress. Walks aren’t everything. There are ways your client can bond with their dogs that doesn’t require a structured walk.
  5. Teach your clients to celebrate their wins! Celebrate a win regardless of how big or small. This is a motivator for them to keep going.

If you’re curious how to create an embodied coaching relationship with your dog training clients, set up your Uniting Call with me!

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Emotional Mind to Wise Mind

Your clients are desperate for your help.

They are feeling overwhelmed about their dog’s behavior and they feel judged by those closest to them.

They struggle with knowing what to do and how to do it and they want to give over the reigns to you.

You know that building a loving connection requires your client to feel capable, confident and grounded in how to effectively and humanely teach their dogs.

How do you help your clients move from their emotional selves into their wise minds?

  1. Normalize what your clients are going through right now. Sharing with your client how others you work with have been in the same boat or going through the same challenges right now. This can provide your clients with a bit of relief that all is not lost!
  2. Validate their feelings. What your client is experiencing and sensing in their body is real and it’s important to recognize it and help your client make sense of what their experiencing too.
  3. Get curious and ask them questions about the incidents that they share with you which contributes to their dogs stress responses, you may uncover where your client can have opportunity for growth too. When you ask questions to gain insight, this can help your client take a birds eye view of the situation. By seeing the situation objectively, your client can connect their heart and mind which opens their mind to possibility of solution seeking versus problem focused.
  4. Provide your clients with how they can ground themselves when things feel overwhelming. Breath work and just taking a break can do wonders for easing tension. You know when your clients can feel relaxed, they are better able to respond to their dog’s needs too.
  5. Your clients may feel they are alone with using only humane training methods. Their friends and family may be telling them it can’t be done or what’s the point. Your client is driven to meet their dog’s needs and providing them with other outlets which support their mindset is necessary. Help them get connected to communities where they will receive modern and ethical training approaches. Create one for your clients if one isn’t available.

Reaching your client in a way which supports their learning and growth can set them up for long lasting change and feeling more comfortable, confident and capable in handling any situation with their dog.

Do you want to reach your clients in a more meaningful way? Set up your Uniting Call with me!

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Supporting Your Client’s Self-Determination

Do you have clients who are desperate for your help?

Do clients show up at your doorstep feeling embarrassed and confused about how to help their dog?

When your clients are looking to you for guidance and understanding of what is going on with their dog, how do you support their self determination?

As a trainer and behavior consultant who stands firm in do no harm training methods, your approach stays within the lines of the ethical standard.

This is a non-negotiable.

Where you have wiggle room is co creating a training plan alongside your client, so your client can express their own self determination so they can become self sufficient with their own practice.

Self determination is based on your client’s intrinsic motivation for change. It is comprised of their beliefs, attitudes, skills and knowledge influencing the choices they make. These choices are aligned with your goals irregardless of externalities like what others are saying or doing.

  1. Normalize what your clients are going through and validate their feelings. This will help them to know they aren’t alone in their struggles or challenges. As you start normalizing and sharing new information, this is where your client is now gaining knowledge of their relationship with their dog, empathizing with their dogs and making connections of with their interconnectedness.
  2. When your client learns the interplay between them and their dog, then you can start sharing the concepts and strategies in behavior change. This would be providing framework on systematic approaches and even introduce new skills through games and activities you can coach your pet parents to get started in doing.
  3. Introduce skills, activities and games which underpin the science you shared with them. Coach them through the skills and ask them for feedback about what their experience is like working through the practice. You may experience some confusion from your client. This is normal. Confusion is a piece of the growth puzzle. Ask them follow up questions which connect the dots back to their goals of wanting to work with you.
  4. As your client grows with their knowledge of their dog’s emotional state, and they practice the skills you’re coaching them through, your clients become more competent. They can begin creating their routine and life style within this new understanding. These changes opens the door for them to self determine what will work for them. Make it habit of asking your client what’s working and what’s not. When something isn’t working, ask them what solutions they have in mind.

When you offer your clients opportunities to stand in their empowered selves, your clients will open the door to where they can more clearly see the choices of how to respond in a situations.

Your clients can better understand the outcomes of those choices, continue the practice of the skills and can be motivated to continue because of how their dog responds.

Your clients’ self determination allows them to problem solve and to move into a place of advocacy for the welfare of their dogs.

Curious how you can become co-creative with your clients? Set up a Uniting Call with me!

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