Supporting Your Client’s Self-Determination

Do you have clients who are desperate for your help?

Do clients show up at your doorstep feeling embarrassed and confused about how to help their dog?

When your clients are looking to you for guidance and understanding of what is going on with their dog, how do you support their self determination?

As a trainer and behavior consultant who stands firm in do no harm training methods, your approach stays within the lines of the ethical standard.

This is a non-negotiable.

Where you have wiggle room is co creating a training plan alongside your client, so your client can express their own self determination so they can become self sufficient with their own practice.

Self determination is based on your client’s intrinsic motivation for change. It is comprised of their beliefs, attitudes, skills and knowledge influencing the choices they make. These choices are aligned with your goals irregardless of externalities like what others are saying or doing.

  1. Normalize what your clients are going through and validate their feelings. This will help them to know they aren’t alone in their struggles or challenges. As you start normalizing and sharing new information, this is where your client is now gaining knowledge of their relationship with their dog, empathizing with their dogs and making connections of with their interconnectedness.
  2. When your client learns the interplay between them and their dog, then you can start sharing the concepts and strategies in behavior change. This would be providing framework on systematic approaches and even introduce new skills through games and activities you can coach your pet parents to get started in doing.
  3. Introduce skills, activities and games which underpin the science you shared with them. Coach them through the skills and ask them for feedback about what their experience is like working through the practice. You may experience some confusion from your client. This is normal. Confusion is a piece of the growth puzzle. Ask them follow up questions which connect the dots back to their goals of wanting to work with you.
  4. As your client grows with their knowledge of their dog’s emotional state, and they practice the skills you’re coaching them through, your clients become more competent. They can begin creating their routine and life style within this new understanding. These changes opens the door for them to self determine what will work for them. Make it habit of asking your client what’s working and what’s not. When something isn’t working, ask them what solutions they have in mind.

When you offer your clients opportunities to stand in their empowered selves, your clients will open the door to where they can more clearly see the choices of how to respond in a situations.

Your clients can better understand the outcomes of those choices, continue the practice of the skills and can be motivated to continue because of how their dog responds.

Your clients’ self determination allows them to problem solve and to move into a place of advocacy for the welfare of their dogs.

Curious how you can become co-creative with your clients? Set up a Uniting Call with me!

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Failures are A Stepping Stone to Your Wins

“We should never doubt how much we can accomplish, if only we can awaken to that potential and exercise it daily. The plan that is executed a little bit at a time, day by day, will have infinitely greater realization than the plan that, though grandiose, has not been given sufficient time and attention.” David Dillard-Wright, PhD.

This quote resonates with me so much because it speaks so profoundly to the work and success my clients experience not only in seeing their dogs change, but also what they themselves are achieving.

Let’s be real, it’s not just about the dogs, but it’s about you too.

You may be feeling defeated because you feel alone in your pursuits of helping your dog be more comfortable in new settings, but your friends and family don’t understand why you’re so concerned. They may even be telling you, it can’t be done.

You may feel you’re alone with moving forward on helping build your dog’s confidence because no one around you is supporting you and even questioning your choices.

Your confidence is lagging, but you still hold on to the hope that change is possible because your belief in desiring a better life for your dog resides within you.

What you don’t realize is that your life will change too.

Transformation is the result of working towards the success you want to achieve.

Simply put, transformation begins when you embody what you want and feel it deeply and take action every day towards your goals.

Change itself is not simple.

When milestones are being met and success happening, you feel on top of the world, but it can feel like a grind when you’re in a lull.

The lulls can really feel like a derailment, but it’s a normal part of the growth cycle. Without the lulls, you won’t be able to achieve something greater.

The pet parents and the coaching clients I support through their programs go through the hills and valleys of change.

They are struggling with aggression between their resident dogs and have witnessed severe fights between them.

They want their dogs to gain confidence and feel more comfortable with the world around them.

They are new business owners and are seeing how their business is much more about them than they ever thought!

Each of the pet parents and coaching clients start off in similar places, unsure and a little apprehensive, but they have a deep desire for something more.

What grounds them in their coaching programs is having a support system to help them through their growth.

  1. Surround themselves with others who have a similar mindset. When we are around others who share in our values, we feel validated and feel heard.
  2. You embody how you want to feel. When you perceive a failure as a personal fault, pangs of guilt and shame overwhelm you. You want to blame yourself or others. It is important for you to hang on to what it is you want to feel when you achieve your goals. This is your life raft. Holding on to what you want to achieve will encourage you to keep moving forward!
  3. Learn to receive what messages are coming your way regardless of how you judge them. Celebrate the wins of learning every day. The more practice you put into acknowledge the gratitude of what you accomplished, you’ll see more of this in your life. Recognize the opportunities that present themselves when you experience a failure. Remain objective and reflect on what this moment is saying to you. What adjustments are needed? This is the ebb and flow in growing.
  4. Invest in yourself and your dog’s relationship. Investing is not just a financial commitment, but it is making the choice in committing your time and energy into what you want to achieve. Committing to your goals will inevitably lead you taking action a little bit at a time. This dedication you have in creating a better life for yourself and your dog will also be what you rely on when you experience those dips in learning.

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What are Your Expectations?

I read this quote the other day by Rona Minarik, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

I don’t know about you, but this blew my mind.

As a trainer and coach, I often hear from clients about their deep feelings of frustration in how their dogs are “not listening” or “not obeying the rules”.

When we expect a dog who remains at an emotional age of a 2 year old toddler to follow the rules immediately and explicitly every single time and they don’t, you are already setting yourself and your dog up for failure.

Your expectations are the building blocks for the type of relationship you’re building with your dog and when the foundation is rocky, how can you expect your dog to trust or feel safe with you and therefore make the choice to be with you?

You are creating the life with your dog to be frustrating and this is making you angry.

When you ask yourself, what motivates you to create these expectations, what shows up?

Do you find yourself comparing yourself to others?

What do you feel when you think about how others may be perceiving your dog’s behavior?

You have the power within yourself to change how you feel about your dog which will directly impact how you perceive your dog’s behavior.

When you recognize you’re feeling angry and frustrated because you’re telling yourself your dog is “bad” or “disobedient” interrupt this thought pattern.

When you become conscious of these limiting beliefs in the present moment, you can begin recognizing what’s laying beneath the surface and this is where your own transformation can begin.

You begin recognizing you are not your feelings.

Your emotions don’t control you, but you have the power to change how you feel about what’s going on with your dog.

How do you take a step back from the situation and reevaluate what’s going on?

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