Loving Relationships

Relationships. Lately, I’ve been finding myself reflecting back on the theme of relationships. What the essence of a relationship means between two beings, what it looks like and ultimately, how to build a mutually respectful and healthy relationship.  Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word relationship in this way: “the way in which two or more people, groups, countries, etc., talk to, behave toward, and deal with each other; the way in which two or more people or things are connected”. Connected is the word that stands out for me. Connected is the feeling of when two beings have fluid motion and can understand the core of one another without our own personal bias interfering or interrupting this understanding. When we are connected, we are grounded in ourselves and trust those around us with our safety, and most importantly, our hearts.

Relationships are built over time with an underlying trust we and the other person or in my field, dogs, build with their person. Trust is acquired through clear and consistent communication which establish boundaries. In grounding our theme of relationships with us and our dogs, let’s take a look at positive reinforcement versus positive punishment. I’ll start with positive punishment. Positive punishment is adding a punisher to correct the wrong behavior. It could be a hand slap, an alpha roll, a kick to a dog when the undesirable behavior happens attempting to eliminate the unwanted behavior. Let’s take an excited dog who loves people. The dog hasn’t learned much impulse control and jumps on people when they come into the room. The dog’s person walks in and the dog’s reaction is to jump on the her. If the person relies on positive punishment, a kick or a smack across the face when the dog jumps up is thought of, through the eyes of the person, as communicating to the dog stop it! In actuality, the act of aggressively putting your hand on your dog is communicating, not to trust human hands which can lead to increased aggression in your dog whereby your dog learns to react by biting to stop the punishment. On the other side, depending on the dog, it can reinforce the jumping because the dog is receiving attention albeit negative attention from their person. The dog may actually learn to continue the behavior because they are being rewarded for doing so. 

Recently, I met an older client who I’ll name Tracy. Tracy has a very excited lab/boxer mix named Buttons. Buttons zooms around the house, knocks over glasses on the coffee table, gets into people’s personal space and basically takes things that doesn’t belong to her. Tracy grew up believing (which is inculturated into us) “I need to be the alpha”. So, in order to assert perceived dominance over the dog, Tracy puts her hands on Buttons by either pushing her to the ground or slapping Buttons in the face for knocking over a water glass. What I noticed about Buttons demeanor when Tracy, Buttons and myself began training was Buttons’ body language towards Tracy. Buttons cowered, ears pinned back and reluctant to go towards Tracy even when Tracy had a tasty treat in her hands. As soon as I called Buttons over, Buttons body language completely shifted. She was excited. She had a loose wiggly body, open mouthed and relaxed eyes. I immediately lured her into a heel position like she was doing this for years even though it was my first time working with her. Then I asked Tracy to call Buttons over again. Buttons’ body language shifted again, the same as before, lowered body posture, averting eye contact and timidness in approaching Tracy for the same exact treat I had in my hand. This told me a couple of things. It’s not about the treat, but about the person who is calling over Buttons and how Buttons perceives the person irrespective of the treat. I shared with Tracy the relationship between herself and Buttons is malformed. There is much more needed at this point in rebuilding a relationship rather than in progressing into basic obedience or behavior modification. You can’t change a dog’s unwanted behavior before changing your approach and your philosophy in understanding how a dog is communicating how she’s feeling. 

Dominance Theory came about and permeated our understanding of canine behavior. It was incorrectly asserted that dogs are direct descendants of wolves thereby studying wolf behavior it will directly correlate with canine behavior. David Mech, a Senior Research Scientist spent his career in studying wolves and their social condition along with their social grouping and found wolves “are not dominated by an Alpha Wolf that is the most aggressive male or male-female pairing of the pack. Rather, they have found that wolf packs are very similar to how human families are organized and there is little aggression or fights for dominance” (APDT Debunking Dominance Theory). Historically, dogs were bred to work with and for people. Dogs have a strong desire in being connected with their person(s). Dogs, like my little Boogs, my Jack Russell Terrier (JRT), his lineage was bred for hunting. As a hunting dog, JRT’s will follow alongside their person and on command will go and seek out and crawl into a foxhole. Their tenacious demeanor would not give up until he killed the fox and brought it out of the hole. At that point, the JRT would have a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment in his duties. Using this example of the hunting JRT, this is skill developed by mutually respectful relationship with his person and receiving a reward of a job well done after completing his tasks of killing the fox. 

Dogs do not develop or try and maintain dominance through aggressive measures with people or amongst themselves. “Dominance comes into play in a relationship between members of the same species when on individual wants to have the first pick of available resources such as food, beds, toys, bones ect. Even between dogs, however, it is not achieved through force or coercion but through one member of the relationship deferring to the other peacefully” (APDT Debunking Dominance Theory). Dogs are social animals which have the strongest bond with their human family members rather than with others in the same species. This is not to say dogs do not form bonds with one another. They most certainly do. Jack and Bernie have a very tight bond with clear boundaries and communication. But, Jack and Bernie clearly have the strongest relationship between myself and Eddie. 

On the flip side, positive reinforcement is the act of giving praise (good job), throwing a toy or giving a treat for a job well done. In this realm of training, the dog learns what you’re asking for while remaining alert, happy and engaged with you for the next job. Your relationship greatly improves and the bond with you and your dog is unsurpassed. Dogs naturally want something to do and they will look to you for that that direction. Without the consistent rules, the dog is lost in how to navigate and will figure out something to do to occupy his time (Dr. Sophia Yin: Dominance Theory Myths). Positive reinforcement is not the same as lacking boundaries, rules or an otherwise free for all. It’s quite the opposite. Positive reinforcement is utilizing those things (toys, food, affection) which the dog perceives as the best thing in life and engaging the dog in following you. Positive reinforcement may take longer, but it strengthens the relationship between you and the dog and it yields more reliable behavior. 

The quality of the relationship will determine how your dog will listen to you, respond to you and want to do those things asked of him. Implementing a positive reinforcement practice will make training more enjoyable for both you and your dog. Your bond will be rooted in love therefore creating a stronger and happier relationship. 

Loving Relationships — Four Paws Dog Training

Relationships. Lately, I’ve been finding myself reflecting back on the theme of relationships. What the essence of a relationship means between two beings, what it looks like and ultimately, how to build a mutually respectful and healthy relationship. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word relationship in this way: “the way in which two or more people, […]

via Loving Relationships — Four Paws Dog Training

Is Canine Body Language A Foreign Language? I Think So…

I’ve been finding myself discussing the idea of understanding the context in which our dogs are communicating with us  during my client consults. Context is everything. Let me rewind a bit to a time when I was studying Spanish in Costa Rica. I took Spanish in high school and college, but living in Costa Rica for several weeks where Spanish is the language spoken, it was a whole new level of learning. I lived with a Tica family who lived in Monteverde. Monteverde is beautiful and so are the people who live there. I attended classes Monday through Friday and traveled over the weekends with the school. The immersion into the culture and particularly the language was amazing. For me, and maybe for some of you, learning a language is a whole body experience. What I mean by a whole body experience is we are picking up clues from the other person’s body language, understanding the context of the conversation or story within certain situations. Dictionary.com defines the word context by “the parts of a written or spoken statement that precede or follow a specific word or passage, usually influencing its meaning or effect.” Learning a foreign language while immersed requires understanding the language in context. Many of the conversations are generated by the environment we’re in. For instance, when I was with my classmates and we were talking with our tour guide in the cloud forest and he points up to a tree and we see an animal, we hear the word for monkey and then see the monkey with our eyes and the story continues to make sense. If we were in the city and the Spanish word for monkey came up in conversation, we may not have understood the word as quickly because we were not in the same context of seeing one. 

You may be asking how does this have anything to do with dog training. Well, I’ve been thinking about how canine body language is similar to a foreign language. The crux of our barrier with our pet is communication, particularly deciphering how and what our dogs are communicating to us at any one time. Furthermore, it’s our responsibility in making it our priority in understanding what our dog is saying so we can continue seeking his best interest of keeping him safe in any capacity from moment to moment. When Eddie and I first adopted Bernie, we had a difficult time understanding what he was saying to us. The first few nights he would get up and get out of bed and sit at the foot of the bed yawning. This yawn was WAY different than other yawns. The yawn would make a high pitched whining sound. He would also lip smack pretty loudly too. The sounds would wake me up almost immediately and I would see Bernie staring at me. I would try and coax him back to sleep, but he wouldn’t budge from where he sat. I initially thought he didn’t feel well, so I would be looking for vomit. If I didn’t see any, I would think he would need water. We would walk out of the bedroom and Bernie would trail behind me. He didn’t go to his water bowl nor did he go anywhere else than 2ft away. I caught myself asking him out loud, “what are you trying to tell me” knowing he wasn’t going to all of a sudden speak words, but at 2am, I felt a bit irritated the answer didn’t come quick enough. I proceeded to walk back to bed, but this time Bernie didn’t follow me. He sat in the middle of the hallway staring at me. This is when it dawned on me, let’s try taking him out. I leashed him up and out he went. Wouldn’t you know, he had to go, bad! As we came back in and I took off the leash, he ran back to bed. In this moment, I learned some extraordinary communication modes from Bernie. Bernie doesn’t get up in the middle of the night anymore, but every so often he does lip smack and yawn with a whine and this gives me a clue into Bernie’s mind.

Context is crucial in understanding canine body language. If Bernie continued whining or whined while peeing, this would signal to me maybe there is something medically wrong with him. Bernie yawns sometimes when we are out for a run. I’ll catch him yawn and then I’ll glance over and see a bunny. This yawn is signaling to me his prey drive is kicking in and if he wasn’t on a leash, he would be off chasing Peter Rabbit :). Bringing a new dog into the home will likely cause some level of stress for the people and the dog. The dog may display the stress by yawning frequently since he doesn’t know the smells, the environment or the rules. Once the dog learns the rules of the home, you’ll probably see less yawning as long as the rules are consistent and fair. You can also check out Brightdog.com Aggression Ladder I shared on the Four Paws & You Facebook page. 

Victoria Stilwell describes canine body language within the context of behavior. She breaks down the modes of body language into displacement and appeasement signals as most dogs are looking to avoid confrontation in Understanding Canine Body Language. In taking this understanding a step further, behavior can also be understood within reading the dog’s body language. Like Bernie, dogs will use their body language in getting our attention. It’s our job in making the effort in deciphering what they are telling us. “Motivation and context is everything, and behavior in one context does not necessarily predict behavior in another” (McConnell, Patricia: Dominance Theory Mythologies). The more we understand how our dogs communicate and what they are communicating, we will learn how to speak canine body language fluently.