“Comparison is the Thief of Joy.”

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Interesting assertion made by Teddy Roosevelt.

Comparing yourself to others sets a bar of success that is unrelated to you.

It sets you up for spiraling thoughts of where you fall short, and gives up your power to someone else.

It can leave you defeated as you start on your own goals.

For instance, when you see your neighbor or a random stranger walking their dogs and their dogs are walking step in step with their person, you may see this as the ideal.

When you compare what is going on with you and your dog to this complete stranger or even family member, you may not know what it took to get there.

Rather than judging yourself to someone else’s achievement, ask yourself, “what do I want to achieve? How will I get there? Am I willing to do the work? What do I want my dog and myself to experience? Will I want support to get me to the other side of learning something new?

The only way to gain confidence in doing something new is to take action. You have to get through some fear before you take the first step.

Give yourself permission to mess things up and not get things right the first time. Or the second or the 80th. Life isn’t perfect and when we expect ourselves and our dogs to do it right always, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.

Not to mention, it is totally unfair to pass these expectations on to your dog who is along for the ride and has no say in the matter.

Your dog is learning too.

Be kind to yourself and your dog.

You have permission to give yourself compassion for not getting it right. Stay open in learning something new, allow for new information to be accommodated into established beliefs and be comfortable with discomfort.

When you feel like you and your dog hit a wall with learning, find the positives of what you accomplished.

You may start off thinking the goal is at the top of an insurmountable mountain, but when you recognize the smallest of successes, you can see where you are going and you take the next step on your journey.

Some things to consider:

🔑 When you find yourself comparing what your doing with your dog to someone else and their dog, ask yourself: “What am I looking to achieve?” “What do I need to get there?” “How will I get started?” “Am I willing to put in the work?”

🔑 You also want to take a look at how you show up when things are messy and confusing. This is a first step in acknowledging that there will be bumps in the road. This will help you level your own expectation and humble you that you won’t get it right every time. You may also take a look at how your limiting beliefs try and tell you aren’t good enough, because those will for sure show up at these times and try to stop you from climbing your mountain.

🔑 Start off your training session and ask yourself, “how do I want to feel during practice?” “How do I want my dog to feel during practice?” This can be your barometer to measure what is feeling light, fun and building a connection between you and your dog. When it stops being those things, then take a break! I’ll go one step further and learn from this and adjust your practice so you can end on a good note. By ending on a good note, you and your dog will want to do this again later. This will feed you and your dog’s motivation.

🔑 Celebrate your wins. Celebrate them regardless of how big or small. Celebrate them even when something else didn’t work.

🔑 When you experience something not working during practice, shift your perspective into what about this not working is trying to tell me. There’s always information which can change performance in the next round if we are willing to take a look at what didn’t work during this round.

Change Your Perspective by Changing your Perception

I often hear, “my dog’s behavior X is a problem. Tell me how to fix it.”

Sigh.

When you start seeing behavior as a problem, then you are looking through a microscope and limiting your view of what is possible.

Your dog is hardwired for survival and the behavior is how she reacts to those situations to protect herself.

These neural pathways are repeated and the behavior is reinforced.

In order to help your dog change her behavior, you have to create an environment to conducive which allows a dog to feel safe which in turn creates an opportunity for your dog to learn a new way of experiencing the environment.

When you pair this with something she loves, your dog’s mind is creating new neural pathways, therefore new choices can be made.

This doesn’t happen in a vacuum.

The other side of the training coin is you.

Like you, I also experienced pet caring in a much different way.

Outdated methods permeated my brain.

Also, like you, I wanted to do things differently, but it was challenging in the beginning.

Why? Because, like you, I had no experience when I first started out what behavior change looked like in a modern way.

I too read books and scoured the internet for guidance.

Like you, this led me into a rabbit hole.

Building confidence doesn’t happen by reading theory and concepts.

Building confidence in creating change happens because you took action.

Taking action in trying something new where you have no experience in doing, will creep you to your own comfort zone.

This is where your limiting beliefs live and where your own brain tries really hard to keep you safe by pushing against you from growing.

You too are hardwired for survival. Growing and expanding your world is not what you’re meant to do.

Because creating new neural pathways takes energy and your resources to achieve, your brain wants you to stop and keep you small.

This only works against you and what you want your dog to achieve together.

Desiring growth and living an integrated life with your dog requires you to take a step past your comfort zone and your willingness to be open to the experience, whatever that brings.

Your willingness to challenge beliefs and find the confidence while doing so.

When you can feel more confident in taking action, you can help your dog do the same.

Are you willing to get started in transforming your life with your dog?

Finding Freedom in Choosing a Pet Sitter

You have the power to choose how you want to feel and this feeling is what you go back to when you’re making choices which impact not only your life, but your dog’s too.

Yes, you want to feel free to take your dogs with you on road trips and exciting adventures, but sometimes this isn’t possible because of logistics or the experience isn’t going to be conducive to your dog’s safety or to his enjoyment.

My husband and I are participating on a 200 mile running relay in the next few days and Jack and Bernie sure wouldn’t enjoy life in a 6 person van as we trail along the runner whose leg it is to run during the race.

Making the choice to feel the sense of freedom in leaving Jack and Bernie in good hands so they can be free to live their best life without us isn’t just as simple as asking for references and getting a price quote, it is following my intuition guiding me in making the right choice for them.

I’ve heard of so many terrifying stories of people leaving their pets in the hands of others who they “thought” were pet professionals. Turns out, their dogs suffered and the pet parents scrambled to find someone else while they were hundreds of miles away on vacation.

Here are some helpful tips which I utilized in finding someone I not only trusted, but Jack and Bernie did too.

  1. I gathered references and recommendations. I used this a starting point, not the only piece to base my choice on. I worked through others who had qualifications I was interested in from knowledge, experience and how others experienced them.
  2. I conducted interviews. I met the pet sitter and asked questions which created the space for the pet sitter to process it and take time to formulate a response. I not only listened with my ears what each person said, but I also used my intuition and allowed my body to tell me how the person answered if this felt aligned with how to move forward.

For instance, I asked questions such as “how do you respond when Jack starts barking?” “What would you do if a loose dog approached?” “How do you keep my dogs safe out on walks or during play sessions with you?” “What do you do when Jack or Bernie make a mistake?” “How do you cultivate a bond with dogs and is that important to you?” The answers I received informed me completely whether the person was a good fit or not.

  1. I prioritized building rapport and trust with my pet sitter and observe how they build trust with my dogs. I made it a necessity of having the chosen pet sitter have time in forming a relationship before leaving on a vacation without them. This is so necessary for Bernie who is shy, slower to warm up to people and needs time to adjust to a routine change. By allowing the pet sitter to find ways Bernie feels comfortable connecting with her, this helped him to feel safe and relax when she comes over. Now, he’s over the moon with her being here.
  2. I took time and observed interactions throughout the time she came over to hang out with Jack and Bernie in preparation of this trip. I was home for the first initial greeting after the interview, so I could make sure everyone was safe and I could be available to offer guidance if interactions weren’t going well. The pet sitter was quick in scatter feeding for Bernie since Jack was quick to initiate play with her. The pet sitter didn’t force herself on to Bernie, but rather allowed Bernie the time to come up to her when he was ready.
  3. My choice wasn’t based on the ease or cost alone in coming to a decision. The value was on the quality of interaction, how the pet sitter responded to Jack and Bernie’s needs, how she ensured their safety and how she engaged them in fun activities when the weather wasn’t great and they refused a walkie. Our shared values was my driving force in hiring her.

Embodying freedom, I was able to remain present in the moment with how the pet sitter was interacting and being with Jack and Bernie. This allowed me to make the choice which felt right not just for me, but for them too. Jack and Bernie’s life is priceless and I want to ensure they receive the best care in my absence.

Now, I can go run my 3 runs over the next two days and be fully present in that experience because I know Jack and Bernie are in good hands.

Are you desiring a more integrated life with your dog?